Dear Younger Pastor...
Pastoring can indeed be lonely, but you don’t have to lead alone.
Dear Younger Pastor,
In my first few years as a pastor, I was shocked at what I encountered in the behaviour of church members and other leaders and by the intensity of the personal attacks I was subjected to. Truly, it was only by God's grace that I survived. The pain was difficult to bear and I sometimes begged for relief in the form of a new assignment.
That request was not granted so I stayed in the same place for a decade and a half. And I’m glad I did.
You are probably unprepared for the divisive politics and hostility you will encounter in ministry. We need to do a better job of preparing younger pastors for these inevitable experiences.
In the meantime, you need to know that these things will happen and be reminded that God is good and working all things for your good.
We sometimes need to be opposed; a gentle rebuke from one who is older and wiser is a gift, not a hindrance. I hope you will discover this and thank God for it. But you will also likely face opposition from those who have neither your best interests nor the best interests of the church in mind.
David Powlison reminds us that people who viciously oppose us in this way "are God's unwitting agents in the task of sanctification. They act for their own selfish reasons, but also accomplish God's purposes for good as he tests and transforms us through suffering.”1
So, keep going.
Work hard to understand what God says in his word and then boldly yet humbly do what he says without regard for the hostility that might arise or the prospect of being terminated. God may use you to reform a dysfunctional church or he may move you to a different church, but I can attest to the fact that he will bring what he defines as "success" in one way or another - and often in more ways than one.
Many pastors lead without friends, confidantes, mentors or counsellors. This is not a recipe for health! Pastoring can indeed be lonely, but you don’t have to lead alone. Lean into ministries like Practical Shepherding, For the Church, IX Marks, and Gospel Care Collective. Follow pastors like Brian Croft, Jared Wilson, Ronnie Martin and others who are working hard in this space.
I’m happy to connect with you as well. In fact, you are the main reason I started The Shepherd’s Refuge. Feel free to get in touch.
Sincerely,
A getting-a-little-older pastor
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Michael Krahn is a pastor, the husband of Anne Marie, and the father of Madeleine, Olivia, and Sophia. Make a connection on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.
From David Powlison’s book “Good & Angry” https://amzn.to/44zLyob
Thanks again for this great post. I can speak from experience being ordained too young. We did enjoys years of joy as the church focused on the core principle doctrines, but as so many go distracted by making minor doctrines major, a storm came in and nearly caused us to shipwreck. Now having enjoyed rest and strengthening from God, my wife and I are asking God for direction regarding the next ministry opportunity.