The Work of a Pastor is Not Always Pretty
In the midst of the pressures and wounds and challenges and weariness and scars and fears and deep deep doubts, we have a Saviour who hears, understands and brings true hope.
The following is a guest post by my friend Kaj Ballantyne who is the lead pastor of Harvest Church Muskoka.
The work of a pastor is not always pretty as there can be loneliness, exhaustion, and anxiety that is often amplified by the wounds and hurts from church life - let alone my own sin, inadequacies, and failures.
Over the last season we have had a good number of people join our church who used to be in full-time ministry as pastors or para-church leaders and have been wounded at a very deep place in their soul.
Some have had seasons doubting their faith, others wrestling with anger, or sadness, or fear and anxiety … each of them carrying with them hidden and painful scars.
Just yesterday was another opportunity to listen to a tearful story from a wounded ex-minister.
As he and his wife talked about the past number of years of searching for hope in the whirlwind of hurts, loneliness, and weariness, I was reminded of David’s words in Psalm 55:
“Oh, that I had wings like a dove, I would fly away and be at rest. Yes, I would wander far away. I would lodge in the wilderness. I would hurry to find a shelter from the raging wind and tempest.” (Psalm 55:6-8)
The pain is real and the search for refuge is real. Often added to it is the very common temptation in times of struggle to believe the Enemy’s lie that God is silent, distant and inattentive. David begins the Psalm crying out, “Give ear to my prayer, O God, and hide not yourself from my plea for mercy!” (Psalm 55:1).
Into that isolation and brokenness, David prayerfully comes to see the truth that the Lord is a very present hope and refuge. Like Paul, in the midst of his loneliness and trials, assures us: “the Lord is near” (Philippians 4:5).
David then calls us to, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you. He will never permit the righteous to be moved.” (Psalm 55:22).
There is so much hope in that verse.
In the midst of the pressures and wounds and challenges and weariness and scars and fears and deep deep doubts, we have a Saviour who hears, understands and brings true hope.
Add to that, Paul’s words of encouragement in 2 Corinthians 4:7-18 that all of life’s trials can’t touch what is awaiting us in Christ: “an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Corinthians 4:17).
That is such a Christ-exalting hope that puts every hurt and trial and weakness and wound that we experience in its proper perspective.
So while you can’t assume that life will be smooth sailing in this coming season - in the hardships, you can confidently rest in the fact that any difficulty will never diminish Jesus’ commitment to complete His work of grace in you.
The pathway we walk is to the cross and so we know that there will be suffering … but thanks be to God that He promises to be near to us in it, sustain us through it, and to not waste any of it.
His grace in the trials will be seen in Him rooting out remaining sin, conforming us more to the image of his Son, and Him being glorified in it all as He brings us safely home.
So, for every leader or pastor who is weary and wounded and sorrowfully worn out, for every person following Jesus with the baggage of failures and regrets, for everyone weighed down without strength or hope — there is a hope!
You can entrust your ministry and your life into God’s merciful and sustaining hands. He has adopted and redeemed you at the cost of his Son and made you a trophy of his grace. So that in our weakness it will be obvious that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us … and all the glory can only go to Him.
Lord, help us keep our eyes on Jesus and move forward with all the hope and joy and grace and energy that You are powerfully working out within us. Thank you that we don’t have to carry these burdens alone, but that we can walk with others, and we can cast each burden on You, knowing that You will sustain the weary with a gospel foundation in Christ that can never be moved.
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